What the…

26 Oct

As I’m writing this blog, my son, who refuses to nap even though he is grouchy and whiny and hasn’t slept since 7:30 this morning (which, for a one-year-old is a long stretch), is on the floor putting tampons (clean ones, duh) in his piggy bank.  And I am just too mentally and physically exhausted to take them away from him.  Because that would require five minutes of tantrum and fussing and finding something to redirect him towards.  It’s not hurting anything.  Besides, if he gets really creative, we could use them to give these as Christmas gifts this year.

Like he is, I am grouchy and whiny and haven’t slept since 7:30 this morning.  And I could have used a few more hours, thanks to the Tylenol PM-induced haze I woke up in.  It was that or drinking myself to sleep, and there’s not a drop of alcohol in my parents’ house.  Except for the bottle of wine that my mom bought two years ago in Germany because she liked the bottle.  I wasn’t quite desperate enough to risk those repercussions.

I have been having far too many “WTF?” moments lately.  You know, those times when you feel like you’ve had just about as much as you can take until life decides to throw you another curve ball, usually when you’re still juggling the past three that were lobbed your way.  Yeah, those.  I had a good one last night.

As I drove home from a long day of Neewollah festivities followed by a family cookout at my grandparent’s house, I was looking forward to putting Bug to bed and relaxing with the heating pad on the couch.  Traffic actually sucked, for a Kansas highway on a weekend night, from everyone leaving Independence to head home.  I was stuck behind three school buses and two Suburbans until they pulled to the right in a right-hand turn lane at a highway intersection.

Continuing straight, I saw around the first bus just in time to realize that there was someone at the intersection who wasn’t stopping.  And I was right in his line of travel.  I honked, I swerved in to the other lane to buy some time/room, and then I hoped that he would miss me.  Just in time to feel the impact, simultaneous with that sickening crunch/thud that anyone who has been in a wreck knows.  It threw the Durango I was driving in to the other lane and I let instinct take over while I tried to regain control from almost spinning out in to the opposite ditch.  Somehow, I managed to make it to the right shoulder and come to a stop.  Needless to say, I was shaken and shaking.  But otherwise unscathed.

More importantly, Bug was fine, too.  He had been sound asleep in his car seat and I don’t think he woke up until after the impact.  He lost his pacifier and started to fuss at being woken, but I told him it was okay and he just sort of looked around.  Some of the band moms from the Suburbans behind the buses came over to make sure we were okay, and a driver who was behind the guy who hit me came over as well.  I managed to call my parents while he called the police.

What confused me was the other driver’s car was no where in sight.   Glass and car parts littered the highway, his bumper and other parts of the his car were attached to mine, but no car.  No driver.

Long story less long, the fucking idiot who hit me was drunk.  We found out later that he had apparently intended to just keep going.  Fortunately for us, a ditch decided to jump out and intervene in his escape.  It was probably a good thing that his car was a half-mile down the road or I’m pretty sure that I would have been in the back of a cruiser myself for causing a scene.

We are SO lucky it wasn’t worse.  I was going slower than the speed limit because of the buses.  I saw him and swerved so he didn’t hit me as hard as he might have.  He supposedly stopped at the stop sign so he wasn’t going as fast as he could have been.  What pisses me off is that if any of those factors had been slightly different, we could have been seriously hurt.  What pisses me off even more than that is that some jackass decided that he needed to drive his stupid ass home more than someone else needed to make it home safely.

I’m willing to be that pretty much anyone who has consumed alcohol has driven when they shouldn’t.  I know a couple of my good friends have been caught and suffered the legal repercussions.  I know families who have been impacted by the death of their loved ones who died from a wreck caused by a drunk driver.  And, as I sat there looking at my baby boy wondering how the hell someone could do this and thanking my guardian angels it wasn’t worse, I realized what is really at risk every time someone gets behind the wheel impaired.

When I got home, the adrenaline wore off and I had a good sobfest.  I don’t understand how or why these things happen to me.  Or why on earth I have had one of the most challenging years of my life at a time when my husband is halfway around the world.  Or why I can’t have a week… just one week… where something stupid, shitty or insane doesn’t blow up in my face.  And maybe I’ll never know.

Nietzsche said, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”  So if, after all I’ve gone through in this short little life, I’m not dead yet, it’s going to take one hell of a bang to take me out.


2 Responses to “What the…”

  1. Alan 27 October 2008 at 03:40 #

    Well said. Glad you and the kid are OK.

  2. quixymama 29 October 2008 at 22:24 #

    Alan, and everyone who has written an e-mail or called: Thanks for all the thoughts & love.

    An update in the interest of full disclosure… we found out that the person driving was not intoxicated, as originally implied by the officer handling my end of things. The other officer did give her (yes, her, not him) a breathilizer test but it was negative. Apparently she just got scared and kept going. She was driving her boyfriend’s car and had an older guy in the car with her who was NOT her boyfriend. Hmmm…

    To make things more complicated, for some BIZARRE reason, the officer handling their end of the case decided to let them turn in their statements by Monday. Um. That makes sense. You catch someone who ran from the scene of an accident and you’re going to just let her go home without making a statement. So, am I REALLY surprised that neither the police, nor the insurance company can get a hold of her now?

    I still stand by my original epiphany about the whole situation and drunk driving in general. Like Mere pointed out, “… so many people are such horrible drivers to begin with … you put a couple drinks in them and it’s like a loaded cannon.”

    So, please do me a favor. Always buckle your seatbelts, always use a DD, and always remember to watch out for the idiots no matter how good a driver you are.

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