Breaking Eggshells

4 Oct

I’m not really sure how to explain this because it has been so long in the making.  Too many arguments cut short from resolution, too many problems not discussed openly, too many doors slammed, too many layers of denial and self-delusion.  All I can say is: I’m tired of fighting for the health of a relationship that isn’t reciprocal.  Today’s conversation made it quite clear that you are incapable of holding a rational discussion.  Especially one that involves admitting that you are in the wrong.

Oh, sure, you can talk all day about other people’s shortcomings and problems.  After all, that’s what you basically get paid to do.  Sort out the mess other people have made of their lives.  When it comes to your own, however, it’s an entirely different subject.  You have raised the blame game to an Olympic sport, and your twisted passive-aggressive behavior leaves no room for logic or communication.

I am opinionated and strong-willed but I am not the monster you make me out to be in your mind.  I have the ability to be introspective on my own.  I have the self-realization to admit when I am wrong.  And I am one of the most flexible, adaptable people on the earth.  I don’t always like to admit when I’m wrong, I don’t always like to change, and I don’t always like holding up a mirror to the inner workings of my self.  There’s the difference between us — I don’t like to do it, whereas you don’t know HOW to do it anymore.

If you think I’m being “mean” because I tell you the truth when others let you get away with your childish behavior, then I’m not the one with the problem.  And, newsflash: I’m not the only one who feels this way about you.  I’m just (apparently) the only one who will call you out on it.  Stop talking to your family like we’re a bunch of the idiots you counsel and work with.  You have the nastiest most condescending tone, reserved especially for us.  And you wonder why no one wants to talk to you, why no one wants to hear about your day, and why no one wants to open up to you.

Without a doubt, I ask a lot of my friends and family.  That’s because I expect to receive what I give.  I will bend over backwards to help a friend in need. If you need me, I will put aside my own priorities to make time for you.  I will change all my plans and rearrange my life to do what is important for someone I love.  I will not let anyone treat my family poorly.  That includes you.  I can’t… I won’t sit back and watch you single-handedly make those around you miserable.

You always ask me if I would treat my friends this way.  You are always surprised when I tell you that I do.  My friends and I don’t always agree on things.  Most of the time, we are able to discuss it like rational adults, and agree to disagree.  There have been times where I had to decide whether or not what was going on was worth the added drama in my life.  Unfortunately, there have been a couple of instances where I decided it was not, and I let those relationships go.  If you want to be treated like my friends, then you’ll be no different: I refuse to put up with this sort of behavior from them and I won’t put up with it from you.

I am finished walking on eggshells for you.


One Response to “Breaking Eggshells”

  1. .Bittersweet. (Aunt Night-Mere) 27 October 2008 at 17:03 #

    Bravo! Bravo! *roaring applause*

    If only they’d read these things we write now … *sigh*

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